Five years ago today, I married the love of my life and my very very best friend. I walked down a home-made aisle in my grandparents’ backyard to one of the most beautiful songs of all time – “Grow Old With Me” (originally by John Lennon, but we used the Peter Breinholt cover, which is BEAUTIFUL). My grandfather gave me away on behalf of my family. It was dusk and we had twinkling white lights surrounding the alter and yard (see pic, taken after the ceremony). We were in the presence of family and very close friends, but most importantly, God. I know He has a crazy way of dealing some of the cards in life but it keeps us on the edge of our seats, wondering what is coming up next.
I think that days like this are harder to face alone than the usual birthdays or holidays missed…everyone gets a chance at celebrating their birthday every year. Not everyone is blessed to celebrate their wedding anniversary, and I mean REALLY celebrate it. Also it’s one of those days that not everyone knows so they don’t call or text all day long to wish the day be happy. It really can give the feeling of being forgotten. So…I don’t really know what to say about today, since there’s a lot of obvious mixed feelings involved.
I’m sad because this is the second year (in a row) that we haven’t been together for our anniversary.
I’m sad because this is one of those milestone anniversaries that it would have been freaking awesome to be together for.
I’m sad because I have not been able to talk to him on our anniversary, my time – we chatted last night when it was our anniversary in his current time zone.
I’m sad because I don’t REALLY have anyone to make a half-assed attempt at celebrating it with while he is gone. There is only so much that a 4 year old can understand when you try to explain this kind of day to them.
I’m happy because wow, 5 years have already gone by! It partly seems like it zipped by fast, but then at the same time it feels like we have been together for forever.
I’m happy because even though we have had our share of roller coaster ups and downs, I know that we are in it for real and will do whatever it takes to come together and make it work.
I’m happy that I know he is missing me just as bad as I am missing him.
I’m happy that even though we don’t get to talk every day or even every other day, no matter how long our communication is gapped, we are okay with it and are strong enough to not need to talk every day.
I’m happy that we can live our lives together but still retain our individuality and not be 100% dependent on each other.
I’m happy that the card he mailed me arrived yesterday, so I got to open it first thing this morning (my card to him still hasn’t arrived yet).
I’m happy that he is MY husband!
If it hadn’t been for a prior agreement to help a friend out with childcare at her church during VBS, I probably would have spent the day on my couch crying and feeling completely sorry for myself (that’s still coming, don’t worry). I would not have answered my door or telephone, had anyone actually called. I also originally was to have company for the night with friends traveling through, but they are postponed for the time being, and a raincheck was needed for the dinner entertainment at Peter Piper Pizza with some other friends.
This evening on our way home, The Boy and I went to Albertsons and bought a small carrot cake (for supper, yes…I didn’t feel like cooking), the same kind we had for our reception. I also bought a pack of 7-UP and a tub of pineapple sorbet to make punch, also served at the reception. I think it’s a cute little tradition that we may be able to start every year, whether we are together or not. And hey for nights like this where my better half is on the other side of the globe, what better way to drown my sorrows than with cake and punch? Maybe I’ll even add a little rum to make me feel better.
Yes, I was a slacker last week and didn’t get around to posting for Wifey of A Sailor’s MilSpouse Friday Fill-In! Go on over to her page to catch up on her posts as well as check out the other lovely ladies who are participating in this fun weekly meme. If you participate, don’t forget to add yourself to Mr Linky so others can find you!
(last week’s questions) vol. 5:
1. Besides the horizontal mambo, what do you miss most when your spouse is deployed?
Entertainment co-op. He does a REALLY good job as a father, playing with The Boy. Especially video games, which are a big hobby around our house. Mind you, I love to game too, but there’s a big difference between gaming with other adults and gaming with a 4 year old. They see no sense of purpose in completing the missions on Lego Star Wars and don’t seem to see a need in collecting all the treasures.
2. What do you miss least?
Sharing a bed. We have a California King sized bed, but it doesn’t matter that much because he will always roll over onto MY side and take up MY pillow, and I find myself hugging the edge of the bed. He’s not only hott in the looks department, but he’s hott in the body temperature and I can’t stand to be sweating with him on top of me when I’m sleeping!
3. You only get three crayons to finish your picture… which three do you choose and why?
Depends on the picture, but if it’s anything I want I would choose green, purple and brown…because they are my three fave colors and I think they go pretty together
4. If you could have your own fragrance, what would it be called?
Victoria’s Secret’s Amber Romance should just be named after me, because it is my signature smell. I have used it for years and when I used to waitress, I would walk up to one of the computers to put an order in and another waitress would only have to sniff the air to recognize it was me standing next to her. She would just say “Hi Patty!” and not even have to look up.
5. If the shoes make the man (or woman), what do your shoes say about you right now?
Well…right now I’m barefoot, and that’s the shoe of preference. However when I am out in public, it has GOT to be the Rainbow sandals!! I got my first pair when I was in South Carolina visiting my BFF this summer and they are the ONLY shoes that I have worn since! I’m a flip flop fanatic, so bad that I have the $5 Old Navy sandals in practically every color, so that I always have something that match. But let me tell you, the pain my feet get in from over use of flip flops with no supports! Plantar fasciitis in both of my feet and I refuse to wear proper supportive shoes to correct it. But since the Rainbows came into my heart, I have had NO foot pain! Ok, I totally strayed from the question….I guess what they say about me is that I like no complications…it’s so easy to just slip on a pair of flip flops and get the job at hand done.
(this week’s questions) vol. 6:
1. What is your spouse’s best feature?
Oh gosh, that is hard…I will have to keep it PG also….I almost say his eyes, because they are gorgeous but I think I’m going to have to go for the torso. He’s not a hairy man (that’s the Puerto Rican blood in him, praise God!) so it is soooooooo soft and smoothe! I just don’t dig hairy dudes, and thanks to the Army requiring PT of him every day, he is getting chiseled and so so so so so delectable!
2. Mild, Medium or Hot sauce?
Depends on the sauce – if it is red sauce, like salsa, then mild (they tend to put jalapenos in salsa, and I don’t get along with jalapenos). But I REALLY prefer a salsa verdé (green sauce) made with the most wonderful chile on the planet – hatch green chiles!
3. What is the worst uniform you had to wear for a job?
The uniforms at my old job, when they eventually made uniforms mandatory. There was nothing at all about womens’ shaping in those uniforms and making me wear uniform black slacks and a button up shirt is just absolutely humiliating. I really can’t describe it, sorry. Just think “meant for men” on shapely women.
4. You have invisible powers… where is the first place you would go?
To sleep….nobody would be able to find me to wake me up!!
5. What’s left on your “to do” list for this summer?
One more summer road trip, to Colorado Springs where I will be doing a Scentsy party for my gal pals, Ashley and Sara!! Then summer break is OFFICIALLY over. Well technically, it is over this weekend since I’m switching schools for The Boy and the new one starts next week – two weeks ahead of all the other places!
It’s time once again for Wifey of A Sailor’s MilSpouse Friday Fill-In! Don’t forget to check her own post for this week, as well as clicking Mr Linky at the bottom of her post to add your own post and visit other MilSpouse Friday Fill-Ins!
1. What food reminds you of your spouse?
Tacos, obviously. And sushi, as it is our favorite date nite food.
2. Who would you rather sit next to in a cross-country plane ride: an irritating non-stop talker, or a quiet stare-er?
Well I recently experienced the cross-country irritating non-stop talker (my son) when we made a trip to visit my BFF in South Carolina. The quiet stare-ers are odd indeed, but I can always close my eyes and fall asleep when there is quiet, so I think I would rather have them be my traveling buddies.
3. What are your best tips on how to save money?
Cut back on your “extras.” We went without cable tv for about two years, using just rabbit ears for over-the-air television. Now that we have satellite again, I still don’t find myself watching it as much and wonder why I even got it. Other extras to consider cutting back on are: getting your nails done (saved me $75/mo which went towards diapers when Sid was born), color your own hair ($10/mo verses $60+), remove data plans on cellphone plans (do you HAVE to be able to check your email/facebook everywhere you go?).
4. What is your favorite summer memory?
Marrying the most wonderful man in my life, 5 years ago this month.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Not sure about ghosts per sé, but I definitely believe in lingering spirits.
I was on another one of my fabulous vacations last week and didn’t get time to pre-type the MilSpouse Friday Fill-In for last week, so this week’s post is going to be doing in two birds with one stone. Thanks again to the creator of this weekly meme, my awesome gal-pal, Wifey of a Sailor!
Week 2′s Questions:
1. Tell us about your dream job… one that you could do regardless of pay.
Serving in the military – and we all know how it isn’t the money that keeps most people in that kind of a job. I always wanted to enlist into the Air Force, but growing up with a heart condition (bicuspid aortic valve & distended aortic valve), I knew that was something that would probably never be able to happen. By the time we found out that I no longer have the distended aortic valve as a concern, we had created our little family. After Taco’s Air Force career was unexpectedly halted, I put a lot of serious thought into getting in shape to enlist myself. However, when he felt God’s calling and was brought back into the service, I knew that my place was still at home with our son. Yes, I know there are plenty of dual-service families out there, but I just don’t feel like that is what is intended for our family. I can’t imagine how difficult it was for Taco to answer the calling of returning to service, but I can tell you how hard it is to sacrifice that dream of my own for the sake of our family.
2. What is your most prized material possession (kids and pets don’t count!)?
My engagement/wedding rings & what they represent
3. What has been your favorite duty station and why?
I never in my life thought I’d say this, but Cannon AFB – my home base – where I was born, most-of-my-life raised, where Taco was stationed when we met, and where my family was/is while we were stationed there. Real life family aside, I actually miss the small-town of Clovis, where CAFB is at. As a teenager I was bored into trouble by it, but it truly is a great place for families. There is also a wonderful sense of community there, something that larger towns/cities lack. Ft Bliss was our first PCS away from there and has not yet become a favorite of any kind.
4. What is your least favorite household chore?
I really don’t mind cleaning but the putting away of things, I hate. Like putting away cleaned laundry, or putting away of washed dishes.
5. If you could give one piece of advice to a teenager today (not specifically a MilTeen), what would it be?
Don’t be afraid of the “what ifs.” Those are the learning opportunities – NOT mistakes – you make in life. Not everything is going to turn out exactly as you envision, but don’t be afraid to chase your visions and watch them mold into new and better ones!
Week 3′s Questions:
1. What is your favorite household chore?
Call me crazy, but I love to clean & scrub the shit out of stuff. Nothing better than a sparkling shitter!
2. What is your favorite childhood memory?
Summers spent at my grandparents’ cabin in the mountains of Mora, New Mexico
3. What is your most embarrassing moment?
Not sure that it was embarrassing, definitely humiliating in a humbling kind of way…but when I went through the whole disaster that was breaking up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years, leaving myself without a place to stay and about 1200 miles from “home.” I wound up temporarily homeless, moneyless, clothesless, and quite unsure of myself. Thank God for good friends and family that I got what I needed to come out on top!
4. What uniform of your spouse’s is your favorite?
His birthday suit! Oh wait, you mean military uniform? Well, I suppose his ACUs…The dress uniform isn’t that flattering and it’s hard to get excited about running shorts and a tshirt.
5. What canceled TV show do you miss the most?
MadTV…when Taco and I started dating, we would hang out every day after I got off work and watch MadTV together before he had to go to work that night